Potholes, motorbikes and Doggies oh my!

There are three things you need when you attempt to drive in Bali – patience, a sense of humour and most importantly steel cohones. Its pretty much taking your own life in your own hands and today’s adventure was the perfect example of the perils faced when you get on the roads here. For some reason no matter how many times I’ve been on this particular route down to the beach from Ubud, I can not manage to get there without getting completely and utterly lost. I found myself motoring along with fingers crossed that I wouldn’t end up on the other side of the island by the end of it. Dodging suicidal motorbike swarms, dogs sauntering casually across the bitumen (that’s when they can even be bothered moving), crater like potholes and especially for today, ceremonies galore.

Unbeknownst to me, today was a really important date on the Balinese religious calendar and everywhere along the roads the temples were spilling over with villagers dressed in their best kebayas (traditional Balinese formal wear, a lacy long sleeved top for the ladies and starched white jackets for the men, both paired with sarongs). At one point a whole congregation were seated in the middle of a major intersection, attending prayers led by a priest. I had to drive excruciatingly slow, weaving through the kneeling crowds all with closed palms up in prayer to …the road gods?... as the religious police directed the traffic around the assembly.

By this time I had discovered that the car came with a charming odour of throw up which curiously only became stronger as I opened the windows, and conversely almost disappeared when I turned the AC on. Gagging, struggling with sticky gears and faulty window controls, I bumped and weaved along the road when for some reason I’d decided to stop following instinct and follow the road signs (always of dubious accuracy) to Kuta. I ended up down a tiny road, which was blocked abruptly by another temple ceremony. So, quick u-turn later I was back on the original path vowing never to follow another sign in Bali. I did eventually make it to the coast, only to be stuck in a traffic jam (in Bali?!!) on the bypass. At one particularly long red light, I discovered a little stowaway – a gecko had decided enough was enough and crawled up the windscreen to see what the hold up was. There really is definitely nothing like driving in Bali.